Realized
by hot 101
Summary: This isn't something you can just patch up and fix.God Bella I'm in love with you!"--One-shot.AH.Best friends who fall in love is always the sweetest....one just happened to fall before the other.


Hey, guys! So, I know when you read this your probably going to be like WTF?! Did I just jump into the last chapter of a multi-chapter story?! And that answer would be no. No you have not. I know it seems like you jump right into the action, which is because you do, but this is just the way it wanted to come out. A multi chapter fic would have been long and depressing for our dear Edward and none of us want that, right?

With that said....Enjoy!

Disclaimer--Not mine.

I stood there staring at him like he'd lost his mind, "You have no right to tell me who I can and cannot date!". There was a little more heat in my voice than I'd meant, but I was trying to get my point across.

He scoffed, "Then who's going to? Someone needed to tell you that guy was a jerk, 'cus you sure weren't figuring it out on you're on!".

I couldn't believe we were even having this conversation. Much less in down town New York.

Hmm, wasn't that wonderful? My first trip to New York City and I'm spending it on a side walk, outside one of the best restaurants in the city (where we should both be, I might add), fighting with my best friend of oh, I don't know, twenty out of the twenty-four years of my life!.

"You've always found something wrong with everyone I've ever shown any interest in!"Oh, don't go out with him, Bella. He's a lawyer, which obviously means you'll fight all the time"." Not him either. Did you see his car? You always judge a man by the type of car he drives, Bella"." Are you serious? You're seriously considering going out with him? Did you not see his teeth, Bella? And he's a dentist!". I mimicked, pointing at imaginary guys and gesturing wildly with my hands.

His green eyes blazed with fury as he marched toward me from where he'd been pacing. He always did that when he was frustrated. "You know I gave you actual reasons and I was justified in every one!"

Was he serious?

I laughed bitterly, "You're insane, you know that? The only time you've ever been justified about an assumption you've made about one of my ex-boyfriends was David. But that was in the second grade when you told me to stay away from him because he only wanted what all the boys wanted: My cookie. And you were right! So there!"

He was right in front of me now, looking just as, maybe even more, furious as me. "What, so that's supposed to make me feel better? You finally admitting you were wrong about David from second grade?" Now he was the one to laugh bitterly, "That guy. That guy that's right through that door? He's cheating on you. And the only reason you can't see it is because you're so God damn stubborn and see only what you want to see!"

I was practically on fire now, glowering up at him like I had so many times before. But for reasons I wasn't quiet sure of just yet, this time was different. And we both knew it.

I was stupid and hurt and confused and angry and spat the first thing that came to mind out of my mouth, "Oh, I get it now! You just don't want me to be happy!"

It was the biggest lie I'd ever told.

But I didn't care.

Edward was in my face in a heartbeat, "Everything I've ever done, everything I've ever said, hell the nasty ass cereal I keep in my cabinets, has always, always been to make you happy!"

I was know more confused then anything else. So I kept yelling, "I don't even know what your talking about!. Why would everything you've ever done be because you wanted to keep me happy? Did you have some weird idea that when my father died you had to take his place? If that's it that just proves how insane you really are! And Cap'n Crunch is not nasty!"

He laughed again. A real, loud, booming laugh, "I can't believe you never new! I can't believe you don't know! Everything!. Just......everything". The last part was said in a small voice; like that one word was more vital than any other he'd ever spoken.

"What?". I whispered.

He looked at me then. Looked at me with the most devastatingly defeated look I'd ever seen in his expressive eyes. He looked on the verge of tears. But he just shook his head and motioned to the restaurant door, like he was telling me to just go inside and leave him out here.

I couldn't.

There would never be a point in my life where I could just walk away from this man.

Ever.

I just....didn't know what happened. One minute we were fighting, yelling at each other like it was the last chance we'd ever get. Then the next he was....what? I didn't know.

But I was going to.

I shook my head, "What". I said it a bit more loudly this time.

Again he shook his head. Apparently the fight had left him.

It hadn't me.

"What!". I yelled it this time. Desperate. Needing to know what could make Edward, the man I cared most about in this world, look like he just wanted to give up on life.

"Just-just tell me what's wrong so I can fix it!". When had I started crying? Didn't know. Didn't matter.

"This isn't something you can patch up and make better, Bella, God! I'm in love with you!"

Everything seemed to slow. The millions of cars passing by. The lights. The people. The music. All in slow motion as I stared at the man in front of me. The tall, gorgeous, wide eyed man in front of me who looked like he was about to bolt.

I didn't give him the chance.

Everything that had slowed down only moments ago came back to me in a rush, and just like that I was on him.

Pushing Edward back into the nearest wall I shoved my hands into his bronze hair like I'd always dreamed of doing and smashed my lips to his like I never planed to take them off. He gasped and I took the unintentional invitation and shoved my tongue past his lips into his open mouth.

This time he moaned. And it wasn't the kind of moan you would get from a guy who only wanted in your pants. No. This moan was long, worshipful. The kind of moan a man would make while taking his first drink of water after a deadly trek through the desert.

I was right there with him, moaning my on pleasure while trying to touch every part of his body I could reach. Hair, shoulders, arms then a slide back up. Edward shivered weather from the cold or not I couldn't tell.

Edward grabbed my shoulders, broke us apart, and spun us around. My back now against the cold brick of the building.

With a growl that sounded so animalistic it didn't seem human, he leaned forward and planted his lips back on mine....

....and devoured my face.

His lips were everywhere at once: On mine, on my neck, cheeks, forehead, nose, the top of my chest that my dress exposed, and back on my lips, plunging and retreating and twisting with mine like he'd been starved to do this his whole life.

_His whole life_, my mind echoed.

I thought back to our life together growing up.

And mentally slapped myself for being so blind.

Alice had told me. Told me all the time that Edward looked at me like I was the only one in the room. In the world. In his world.

I always shook her warnings off, knowing that it couldn't be true. This led to ignored unnecessary touches, heated glances, and subtle words of devotion. My mind just got used to making up excuses for them all.

God, all these years he'd....

"I love you so much" he said between his bites and licks of my ear, "So, so much".

The desperation was there in his voice. He knew I hadn't said anything, said the words he'd said to me. But he didn't stop. Didn't break our contact, or separate our bodies in any way. On the contrary. He pushed his body even closer to mine.

I knew what he was doing, trying not to puncture the bubble we'd been blown into for fear of what would be done, be said, once it was popped.

So I gave into him, not wanting to be brought back to reality any more then he did. I braced my hands on his shoulders and wrapped one leg around his waist, hoping he would know what I was wanting. He did. He wrapped his left hand around the back of my left thigh and helped me complete the mission of getting my legs around his waist.

My dress was a little uncomfortable around my thighs so I wiggled a bit, trying to get the hem to scoot up.

And effectively rubbed myself against Edward's ever growing erection.

His lips broke away from mine and he hissed through his teeth. I brought my hands back to his hair and pulled his lips back to mine, grinding myself into him harder.

"Fuck" .He gasped against my lips, hips bucking involuntarily.

All of the sudden he froze, his motions stopping altogether, and sat me down. He was positively shaking as he backed away from me, putting at least four feet between us.

"I-I've w-wanted....no." staring me with scared, unsure eyes, he took a deep, ragged breath and started over, "I've needed you for so long you just....have no idea how hard is was to....to just, ugh!" .He turned away from me and paced a couple times, walking back and forth beside a sign that said something about valet parking.

Edward had always been good at forming perfect sentences, knowing exactly what to say and when to say it. That's what helped him get a job at Hal-Mark, writing cards of various kinds. So it was disconcerting to see him tongue-tied.

I wondered what he was thinking just know.

Was he thinking about the summer when we were twelve and made the promise to be each others first kisses, just so the experience wouldn't be so awkward?.

Or when we were fourteen and actually kept that promise?

Maybe he was thinking about when we were sixteen and went to prom with different people, but wound up in each others arms anyway?

But one thing I knew he wasn't thinking about. The fact that he was sure he loved me.

He already knew that.

It was me who just realized I did.

Under the street lamps and tall buildings. Under the unseen stars and full moon. I realized, more like acknowledged, the fact that I was in love with Edward Mason.

And a weight I hadn't even known was there suddenly wasn't anymore.

Edward was in front of me then, taking my hands and looking frazzled and beautiful and determined all at the same time.

"Do you remember when we were eighteen and we both applied to Harvard and Yale, but you were only accepted into Yale while I got accepted into both? But I decided to go to Yale and you argued with me for a full week that Harvard was clearly the better option", He laughed shortly while I nodded, remembering right along with him, "But then, after allot of fighting, I told you exactly why I was going to Yale. Do you remember what I told you?"

My brows knit in past irritation. Of course I remembered. He used one of his cryptic remakes he was so famous for. "You said "Yale has one thing that Harvard doesn't" and then walked away, which left me very annoyed".

He smiled slightly, "And what was that one thing Yale had?"

"Don't know, you never said".

"You". The word was breathed. No lighter than air and no more easily heard then a whisper in the wind.

My heart was beating fast in my chest and I was worried he might hear it, but he went on, oblivious to my near escaping heart.

"So when I said earlier 'everything', I meant that you're everything. To me. You always have, and no matter what happens, you always will". He looked to the door of the restaurant when he said 'no matter what happens' like he already knew what I was going to say, dejected already.

I was afraid to speak for the fear of yelling, because the blood pounding behind my ears was so loud I could hardly hear. So instead I just pulled on his hand, tugging him past the restaurant with what, thirty minuets ago I would have said future, inside, and walked on. My destiny at my side.

----

The cab ride and the walk to my hotel room were silent, thankfully. Because if Edward had wanted to talk, I'm not sure I would have known what to say:

"I'm sorry you had to stand by and watch me date guy after guy in high school and collage because I'm so hard headed it took me until just now to realize my feelings for you?"

Uh, no.

"So, I just wanted you to know that I've loved you my whole life. It just took me twenty years to figure it out?"

Sigh. I don't think so.

So instead of walking through the door of my hotel room and having it be awkward, I didn't give it the chance to be.

Once the door closed behind Edward my lips were on his and I walked us backward until he fell back onto the couch, me landing on top of him.

We kissed feverishly, tongues and lips moving in a frenzy, until I pulled back and whispered, "You lying bastard" and then started kissing across his jaw.

"Wh-what?" he stuttered, tilting his head toward the side where I could better reach his neck.

I bit and sucked his neck while he groaned in sweet tortured pleasure, "All the guys I've been with" bite, "you did make stuff up about them" suck. Moan.

"B-Bella don----Shit! Don't stop, hmm. No. Stop. Please.". He was painting, and his breaths were coming out so hard I could barely understand what he was saying.

Edward and I never really....talked, about sex. But I wondered briefly if he'd ever been with a woman, and by the way he was so sensitive about my every touch, I didn't think so.

Or, another part of my mind said, it could just be because its you. I blushed at the thought.

"What do you want, Edward?" I whispered against his skin, blowing on a part of his neck I'd just wet with by tongue.

He shuddered.

It was so strange, doing these sexual things with Edward. My best friend. The one single person on earth I loved more then anyone.

But in the back of my mind I knew I'd never want to be like this with anyone else but him.

It was an amazing feeling.

"Doesn't matter. Need to talk" Ahh, so he didn't want to stop either. That could be arranged....

I sat up strait forward, leaned back a little form my position of straddling his lap, and braced my hands behind me on his lower thighs. Then I started to roll my hips into his.

My stomach tightened with every roll.

And with the string of curses Edward let out, and the way his hips were arching off the couch to meet mine, he was enjoying the ride two.

Pun totally intended.

"Bella....Christ! What are you doing to me?! If-if you don't stop I'm going to......going to....".He didn't seem able to finish his words, flushing a light shade of pink.

"Come?". I whispered helpfully in his ear.

And just like that I was off of him, laying flat on my stomach where Edward used to be, while the man in question sat in the farthest chair away, wide eyed and trying discreetly to arrange himself.

Like I didn't know what he had going on in those tight black dress slacks of his.

I licked my lips and sat up; both legs folded underneath me with my ass rested in the middle.

We just stared at each other.

Years of pent up sexual tension staticing between us like a live being, waiting to see who it could shock first.

I knew it was my turn to say something. To say something verbally instead of physically to reassure him of how I felt. So I got up and walked toward him. He stiffened up and crossed his legs, then winced and uncrossed them. I held up my hands to show him I had nothing up my sleeve, I just wanted to be closer to him.

I knelt beside the chair he was sitting in and grabbed one of his hands, needing the contact before I started speaking, "I don't know....shit" and then I laughed, "Actually, that's exactly what I need to say: I don't know shit. All these years I haven't even noticed...." I trailed off, not knowing where to begin or how to begin, really.

Edward laughed a little to and squeezed my hand, "No, you don't know shit, do you?", at my scowl, he added, "And no, I'm not a lying bastard. I'm a lying jealous bastard".

I lifted a brow.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Nervous trait. "In tenth grade, when you finally just said 'screw it' and started going out with any guy that would ask you, because you were so tired of saying no--actually, your exact words were something along the lines off "Maybe if I just go out with them all, every single guy whose asked me out this year, they'll figure out I'm nothing great and leave me alone". They may have been drowned in hormones, Bella, but they weren't stupid, I'll give them all that. They knew when they had something special. And I was in my own personal hell that whole year". He shook his head sadly at the memory.

"And so", he continued after awhile, "Since I was too much of a chickenshit to....admit my feelings for you", he stopped and averted his eyes, a flush creeping up his neck. He still wasn't sure where we stood and I didn't blame him. Because neither did I.

"Its OK, Edward. Don't be embarrassed. I'm the one who-who attacked you just a minuet ago......And outside of the restaurant ".I added almost as an after thought. Was that only an hour or so ago? Seemed like forever....

He snorted softly and turned his face back toward mine, still looking shy, but continued, "Because I didn't want to see you with any other guy anymore. Just me. Only me. But I couldn't, shouldn't, have said anything. Like I said, you mean the world to me and I'd, as cliché as it sounds, would die without you". He stated that so simply. Like that was just merely how things were.

Which I guess they were.

Because I felt the exact same way.

Edward looked anxious again as he stared at a spot somewhere over my head, not wanting to meet my eyes, "I've messed us up, haven't I? You just kissed me back there because you felt sorry for me," he stopped and started looking a little angry, but allot hurt, "That's it, isn't it?. You felt sorry for your poor best friend who's in love with you. Well, I don't need your pity". He let go of my hand and got up.

I sighed. Edawrd could really get himself going sometimes. When he was really nervous about something, he started imagining up different scenarios about how things might go, and then he would actually start to believe them.

Like now.

He was in the middle of the room by now and still mumbling his nonsense got off the floor and took a couple of steps toward him, "Edward, where are you going?". I asked to his retreating back.

"My room". He muttered.

I walked closer, until I could reach him, then laid my hand on his shoulder, sliding it down his arm until I reached his hand, which I clasped with my own.

He froze in mid step and his breath hitched, like this was the first time we'd ever touched.

"Please don't leave". I whispered, still to his back.

"Why?". He said in a mocking tone and I sighed.

I needed to be strait forward.

"Listen, Edward, I'm....I'm not going to make up excesses, or lies, just the truth. All these years I've seen you as nothing more than a best friend," He's hand tried to pull away form mine, but I held tight, "It's because I'm stupid. So stupid and selfish that I didn't even realize the best thing that could ever happen to me was always standing right beside me," That got him to stop pulling on his hand and he swiveled to face me, eyes bright with....hope?. Still guarded though, so very guarded.

He took a deep breath and asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that....I mean that I'm not going to make excesses anymore, or try to cover feelings that I just now, sadly, found a name for".

Again he took a deep breath, like he was bracing himself for the worst news of his life, "Which is?".

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

"Love".

His voice was desperate, pleading, as he said, "Say it. Please".

"I love you, Edward".

His face broke out into a smile and a tear rolled down his cheek as he whispered, "I love you, to. You don't know how long I've waited to say that". And to me, he had never been more beautiful.

----

I was standing in the bathroom a little later that night having told Edward, who was laying in my bed, that I wanted to change out of this dress and into something a little more comfortable.

After we'd talked, said 'I love you' a couple dozen more times, and kissed briefly. A sweet kiss, long and languid. Worshiping and adoring. My favorite kiss, to be sure. Coming into a tie with our first kiss when we were fourteen, of course.

We had sat down and talked some more. About anything really. It was great, wonderful, and fantastic. I found out so much about Edward I hadn't know before.

Which was why I was standing here, wearing a black bra and panty set with a matching black lace baby doll over it. Because Edward had never been with a woman.

And had admitted to only kissing other women chastely when Emmett, my brother, had set him up on dates. Because there had been only one woman he'd wanted to kiss, he'd said. I'd melted.

I had never actually had sex, either. And I told him that.

But I was more experienced then he was.

Which both excited and terrified me

But I was determined to make this night as special as possible. Even if we just cuddled.

_Yeah right_, the voice in the back of my head said, rolling its eyes sarcastically at me.

I closed my eyes for a short moment and then opened them, opening the door to the bedroom at the same time.

The bed had been turned over and there were candles all around the window seal and dressers, piano drifting from some unknown location.

But my eyes weren't looking for the stereo.

No.

They were staring at the man who was currently shredding every piece of clothing I had on to pieces with his eyes, leaving an intense burning in his wake.

Alright, maybe I was wrong. Maybe he's the experienced one.

Gulp.

I sauntered slowly over to him anyway when his eyes raised hungrily back to mine, the green now the darkest shade I'd ever seen them, and they widened slightly when he saw me coming.

I stopped about a foot away from him and spun in a circle, trying not to appear nervous, "Do you like it?". I asked softly when I'd spun full circle.

"Y-you look beautiful". He stuttered, running a hand through his hair. Also a nervous trait.

He was wearing drawstring pajama pants and nothing else. I drank in the sight of him. The whole six pack glorious sight of him.

I raised my hands and sat them on his shoulders, running them down his chest. I stopped at the waistband of his pants and played with the drawstrings, watching in excitement as his breath hitched.

"So where's the piano coming from?".

"I put one of my compositions on in-in the corner, over there. I wanted to get your opinion". I found his stuttering enduring and hoped by the end of the night he might even forget how to say of a few of those words.

"I think it's beautiful, Edward", I ran my finger along the waist band, dipping just slightly under, "Your music always is".

"Thank you". He breathed, he's eyes soft, with a raging inferno close behind.

I decided to take my chances and play with fire.

I backed him up to the bad, much like I did the couch, and he lay down.

I noticed for the first time the bulge that was already straining to get free of his pajama bottoms.

In due time, I mentally assured his pants.

I backed up and put my hands to the bottom of my teddy, than paused. Looking at Edward, I asked, "Do you want me to remove it, or do you want to?"

He propped himself up on his elbows and licked his bottom lip. An excited action. "Don't you take anything off. Come here".

I did as I was told and walked over. I crawled up on the bed on all fours until I was encasing his body, one hand and leg on one side, and the same on the other.

I leaned down and brushed my lips lightly against his before sitting up, now just straddling his waist. He sat up to and brought his slightly shaky hands to the bottom of my baby doll. I grabbed onto his hands to steady them, smoothing my thumbs across his palms.

"You have nothing to worry about. I'm all yours now". I was hoping to reassure him.

His eyes flashed, "Say that again".

I looked at him confusedly and replied, "You have noth--".

"No, the last part"

Oh.

I smiled softly and stated, "I'm all yours now".

He closed his eyes and smiled. An 'I'm in heaven' smile and murmured, "I love you".

"Love you". I replied back, with just as much affection.

I let go of his hands and he opened his eyes, focusing on the task at hand. He slowly slid the thin peace of lace up my stomach and chest, watching as every knew sliver of skin was revealed to him. And not missing a thing. He pulled it up and over my head, then threw it to the floor. It made no noise on contact. But Edward did.

His breath came out in a whoosh of air as he lightly traced my stomach and circled around my belly button, opening and closing his mouth as if in awe.

I was in awe. Just watching him watch me. Brilliant.

His finger traced up and ran along the under wire of the black bra, and then traced the top of the bra, dipping his finger in slightly and teasing me just as I had teased him.

This time when his mouth opened, words came out, "You're so soft". His voice was below a whisper, like he was afraid that if he talked to loud I would shatter.

I just stroked his hair and his cheeks, marveling at how I could have gone so long without his touch.

His cheeks were a little pink as he raised his eyes to mine and asked, "Can I take it off?"

I replied with an honest answer, "You can do what ever you want".

He made a vibrating sound in the back of his throat at my words, like a purr, and add in the extra huskiness of his voice and you have the single most sexy sound in the world.

His hands reached behind my back and fumbled with the clasp, I giggled softly. What was it that guys couldn't figure out about these things?

Give them a car in a million pieces and they'll put it together, but give them a bra and there baffled.

Edward gave me a nervous smile and ran a hand through his untidy hair.

"You'll get better," I promised, "But let me help you for now".

He nodded his head in thanks and I quickly unclasped the plastic hinges, Edward taking over from there.

He slowly dragged the material down my arms and off me completely, gasping as he threw the bra, to, quickly to the floor.

He looked at my chest in open wonderment while my nipples hardened from the cold. Or was it the heat? I didn't know anymore.

"Can I touch you?".

This time I groaned.

"Anything you want, Edward". I breathed again.

He slid his hands from the top of my breasts down, until he was cupping each B cup softly in both hands.

And then he looked troubled.

Wordlessly, I brought my hands up to cover his and squeezed lightly, his eyes taking the whole thing in. Then grabbed just one of his fingers on both hands and grazed my nipples with them. I moaned softly. He seemed to like that, and he did it again. And again. I moved my hands away from his and he continued without my help. Now squeezing and lightly pinching my nipples between his fingers, much to my pleasure.

Not being able to take it, I leaned down and planted my open mouth on his. I lightly traced his bottom lip with my tongue, willing myself to take things slow. He opened his mouth and met me halfway, twisting and stroking his tongue with mine. We moaned in unison.

He flipped us over so that he was on top now and started leaving open butterfly kisses along my face and neck, stopping to bite and sooth at sensitive spots I didn't even know I had.

He reached my right breast and kissed along the swell of it, licking and sucking like he had the rest of my skin, before taking the now achingly tight nipple between his teeth and racking gently with his teeth, soothing away with his tongue.

"Edward". I gasped. It was the first time I'd said his name in passion like this.

And he noticed to.

That throaty purr came out of him again. Except now it was more husky, more of a growl. More possessive.

"Say my name like that again". He demanded, doing the same thing to my left nipple that he did to the right. His name fell from my lips again, and I closed my eyes in surrender that was Edward's mouth.

After a few minuets he stopped, and after a few seconds of feeling his gaze on me I opened my eyes. And I was right, he was staring at me. With more love than any one person had looked at me with.

"You look so beautiful right now", he whispered quietly, "I'm scared this is all a dream and at any moment I'm going to wake up. Wake up and find out your still with--".I cut him off by pressing my lips to his, not wanting any other man's name uttered in here except for Edward's.

And I told him just that, "No man's name will be uttered in this room tonight except for yours, got it?"

He smiled crookedly, "I can handle that".

I pushed him back so that I was now on top again and started my decent down his body. I sucked his neck, giving him little hickeys everywhere. And then I kissed the center of his chest, dragging my lips right and sucking on the right nipple there, electing another sharp intake of breath. I moved to the next one and did the same thing.

I drew a wet line with my tongue down his stomach, around his bellybutton, and through the thin, fine turfs of hair leading inside his pants. Then I blew over the wet streak, a curse leaving his mouth before he could stop it and he cursed again. I smiled secretly to myself.

Working my way down I continued with my licking pattern and traced my tongue along the skin just above his low riding pajama bottoms. His hips jerked off the bed and I smiled again, placing my hands firmly on his hips to help keep him steady, then blew across that wet path, to.

"Bella". I heard him whimper, and I lifted my head to see his head thrown back, pure agony on his handsome face.

"Is there something you need". I purred, loving my new found confidence.

"Yes". He whimpered again.

I loved hearing him so drugged with pure lust, it was intoxicating.

"What might that be?". I wanted to hear him say it, say that he wanted me to touch him.

"Just-just touch me, please".

"Anywhere in specific?"

"Bella". This time it was a growl, not pleading. A warning. If I wasn't going to do something, he was.

I shivered form the thought but immediately turned my attention back to Edward, who was practically writhing right in front of me.

I softly trailed my fingers down the ridge of his hard member through his pants and back up, watching him quake with need.

I couldn't do it anymore. I grabbed the waist band of the pajama bottoms and jerked them down his legs and threw them to the floor. No underwear. Perfect. I reached down and took him into my hand, hearing the gasp from Edward and feeling the twitch when I took him into my hand. I slid my palm up and down, squeezing gently and running my thumb over the head on the up stroke, spreading the moisture around.

"Bella, Bella, Bella....".Edward was saying my name like a prayer, over and over again.

After a couple of more seconds of stroking, he brought a trembling hand up to stop my hand by grabbing my wrist, "I want to be inside you the first time", he said, his voice was even trembling with his need.

I nodded and stood up, discarding my panties with the other piles of clothes on the floor. He reached for me around the waist and pulled me back on the bed. Him on top this time. He started to slide his hand between my legs but I stopped him. He was trembling and sweating and painting and I wanted him now. Right this second.

"No more teasing". I said in a firm voice, more firm then I actually felt.

He leaned down and kissed me softly while he brought himself to my entrance. I knew what he was trying to do. Distract me. I was a willing candidate.

He pushed completely in one fluid motion and there was no pain. None once so ever. I liked to think it was because Edward and I were meant to be like this, bonded in the most intimate of ways.

We both moaned at the feelings but then Edward stopped, looking down at me to make sure I was OK.

I gave him a smile to let him know I was fine, and he started to move, slowly at first, but gradually building momentum. His hands were braced beside my head and I started lifting my hips off the mattress, meeting him half way and intensifying the pleasure.

"God, Bella, your amazing!. I love you so much". Edward moaned out the words, kissing the side of my neck and palming my right breast, bringing me closer to the edge.

He moaned again, "Hmm, you're so close, aren't you? I can feel you, squeezing me tight all-around. Feels. So. Good". He said between grunts, moans and pumps.

My head was spinning and I could barely form coherent thoughts, but I tried anyway, "So good. Don't stoooppp". 'Stop' caught on a moan as Edward slammed into me really hard one last time before I was gone. Captured by the thrill that was the end of the rollercoaster, all breathy and trembling and holding on to Edward for dear life, just like he did to me in the next second when he got to the end, to.

We laid there together for a few minuets, holding each others sweaty, painting bodies while we tried to slow our heart rates back into our chests. Edward rolled off me and I was going to protest, if I was going to be sweaty I might as we have him on top of me to, when he pulled me on top of him. I settled back down, and laid my head on his still pounding chest.

After a few minuets of silence, Edward spoke, "I wanted to say something romantic, but I have nothing to say but the truth and it's been rubbing me the wrong way ever sense I said it earlier today. When I said I wanted you, that was a lie".

My heart fell into my stomach and I lifted my face to look at his, he was staring right back at me, "I don't just want you. I need you. All the time. Every single day".

I felt like crying. Give the guy a bra strap, can't do it. Give him a girls heart, he can melt it.

After whipping a few tears away and giving him a slow, sensual kiss, I leaned down and whispered in his ear, because I just couldn't help myself:

"You're like my own personal Hal-Mark card"

A few things

1--Now you see what I mean about Edward being depressed if I'd started at the beginning? Having to watch Bella date and get engaged....I shudder at that type of angst. Besides, I'm not really good at writing it!

2--This is my first attempt at a lemon. And while I appreciate helpful hints, rude words never encourage anyone.

3--I know Edward seemed to be very inexperienced for a 24 year old. But really, he was just nervous. And he wanted to be perfect for Bella.

4--I know this story was a little confusing, guys, and I'm sorry. This is just the way it wanted to come out. If you have any questions or didn't understand something, I'd be glad to answer.

5--I have no idea who's Bella's fiancé was. He's a mystery to me to :) Just use you imagination, he can be anyone you want.

6--This is un-beta'd. Because I don't have one. But I am working on a multi chapter fic, so if anyone would be interested in beta'ing for me that would be great!


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